Sunday, November 18, 2007

If only I made myself work on it

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Thursday, July 05, 2007

The Dead Need Love Too

This short story originally appears here.
"Oh dearie my," sighed Samara. "If only my hands weren't so cold. I'll never find a man that can bear my icy touch. Maybe if I send up this balloon with my wish, the deities of death will bring someone who is undead like myself for me to make love to."

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Thursday, June 28, 2007

Would you open yours?

"Crap," said Eddie. "Do I open the fortune cookie or don't I? My friend Phillip opened a fortune cookie. It told him he would find the perfect woman. Which he did. But then he turned into a horrible monster and swam out to sea to find R'Lyeh, whatever the hell that is. Then again Leonard opened a fortune cookie and it told him he'd take over a large business and be insanely successful. Oh, what to do, what to do?"
"Place is closing," the owner called to Eddie. "You going to eat that fortune cookie or no?"

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Transformation Continues

This is the follow-up to the last post. Here is the original location of the picture and the story.
Sex with Vanna the love doll come to life after he read the terrible passage from the Necronomicon had warped Phillip's mind and shattered his sanity. The next spell she forced him to cast also began to alter his form. He was growing ready to return to R'Lyeh where dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.
"Ia, Ia, Cthulhu Fthagn!" muttered Phillip as Vanna beckoned him towards the sea with one perfect plastic hand.
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Phillip's Woman

I honestly think this is one of the cooler things I've written. It's bizarre, it's wacky, and it's Cthulhoid! A true Three-Fer! Originally found at Indie's story site. I swiped the photo so it would make sense. Hope that's ok.

Phillip kept his blow-up doll Vanna hidden behind the shelves in his book store and every night he would bring her out and dance with her and make mad passionate love to her, always with the wish that Vanna would become a real woman.
One day Phillip acquired a bunch of new books from a mysterious fishy-smelling man with an unappealing face, written by people with names like Al-Alhazred and H.P. Lovecraft. He read the strange poetry he found in the one entitled Necronomicon aloud.
To Phillip's great joy, he saw Vanna emerging from the shelves, smiling. He wasn't quite sure what the words "Ia, Ia, Cthulhu Fthagn" that she was muttering meant, but he couldn't wait to enjoy the pleasures of his plastic fantastic lover come to life.

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Monday, June 04, 2007

The Change

The Unspeakable Sphere is now the Mythos Encyclopedia and shall feature the beasts of H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos rather than random beasts. I am also desperately trying to become an independent businessperson, and so I place post sponsors at the end of each post for products and services that people who stumble in here and become trapped may be interested in. Since I am queen of this hellhole, this is my prerogative!
Many writers who came after Lovecraft incorporated the Chtulhu Mythos in their writing, including Stephen King and myself.
One may well say "who the hell would want to read anything you wrote, Cheesemeister?"
Who indeed? I rely on insanity and boredom and the fact that I'm not the sole author of the book to bring me readership!
It is due out later this summer.
There was once even a Cthulhu-related search engine! Sadly, it seems to be broken. Some of the links still work.
I am very tired, thus my inattentiveness to this poor website. I think I'll go read The Dark Tower III now and look for Mythos-related bites from it!
The Foul Webmistress
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Monday, March 12, 2007

Unspeakably Adorable!

Read Tales of the Plush Cthulhu.
Reminiscent of the original Pansi Files and Stuffed Animal Planet.